Found this old video of me

 Animated Gif on Giphy

ugh, i should really do something about this.

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The funny thing about weight loss…

The funny thing about weight loss is that you actually have to like, I dunno, put “effort” into it.  Apparently diet AND exercise are required components of leading a “healthy and fit” lifestyle.  However, Craig and I figured out that doing one of those (and for the sake of this blog post, we’ll pick diet) and having the intention of doing the other (exercise) without actually doing it, was just as good.

If I imagine the burn in my quads, it will happen.

If I imagine the burn in my quads, it will happen.

 

Friday, instead of working out, we ate a well balanced, paleo,  meal while watching OTHER people workout on our iPad. And we felt FANTASTIC after.

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I haven’t killed anyone yet.

So I’m what feels like 30 days into being deprived of everything that makes me happy.  In reality, it’s only been roughly 62 hours.  I have left the house for two reasons:

1) to go to the track to run
2) to go to the grocery store to get veggies and meat

The rest of the time has been spent holed up at home working, drinking water, and pretending that I can actually hear myself getting thinner.  My friend Wendy asked if I was too busy with work to get out of the house for an hour and hang out.  I told her that I was scared to leave because I’d want a coffee from Starbucks, or burrito from Chipotle, or all of the left side of the menu at Taco Bell.  So I stayed in, and waited for her to come over and visit me.  She said “I remember when you were being all hardcore Paleo before… you were a real grouch”  I laughed… im not quite there yet. Give me another 3 days and I’ll be a total bitch.  So hooray for me!  I haven’t killed anyone yet!

Thankfully I am a pretty phenomenal chef.  So making tasty and healthy food for myself isn’t hard at all.  I love exploring with spices and cooking styles. Craig and I have also started juicing again.  My new favorite drink is a carrot, celery, apple, beet concoction.  I have to keep myself from chugging it because I don’t want to give myself to surprise doodies.  I also have to remind myself I have ingested beets. The last time, I forgot and thought I was hemorrhaging.  Good times!

I am feeling pretty good going into the weekend in that I won’t derail this diet train into a ravine filled with refined sugar and carbs, although that would be totally amazing to do that.

Juice is good.  Juice is goooooooood

Juice is good. Juice is goooooooood

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NAILED IT!

So Craig and I got these videos called “10 min trainer” on the recommendation of our friend Niki who ordered them over the phone after watching an infomercial, at 3am,  whilst drunk , and in Hawaii on vacation.  So i mean, it had to be legit right?

Oh my god.  As a person who can back squat her own weight, I figured, “how card can this be?”  WRONG.  We did the “10 min abs” video which takes you through 20 positions in 10 min and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I have no core, and today was a lovely reminder that my body is turning into lifeless goo.  Instead of effortlessly working through the various core movements, Craig and I writhed around on the floor moaning in agony and panting in pain.  As Niki said when she first tried it, “its more like 3 min abs, bc you don’t want to finish the whole 10 min.”  That couldn’t be more true. 

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This is what you should look like

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aaaaaaand this is what we look like. NAILED IT!

 

 

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Happy New Year!

Do you hear that?  Shhh.. listen….  If you listen closely enough, you can hear the sounds of wordpress crashing and crumbling into pieces as everyone and their mother starts to upload their NY/Resolutions blogs about how they are going to be healthier and fitter for the new year.  I am one of those people.

After a really kick ass winter of eating, eating, eating, little to no working out, eating, and eating, I have decided to drop the gluten and dairy and pick up an apple or something “healthy” instead.

I took the god awful necessary photos of myself, and wrote down the incredibly large numbers that are my measurements and am ready to tackle this head on…. again.  My official weigh in and measuring days are on Wednesday, and I have loosely mapped out a workout schedule from now until the end of Feb.  It is going to suck, and I am going to be really grouchy over the next week or so, but I think I am totally ready.  I saw this really awesome quote last week that pretty much sums it all up. “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.  The time will pass anyway.”  – Earl Nightengale.  But the one thing that really gets me moving is that after looking at myself in the mirror again, I just realized that I am pretty sure my body has hit rock bottom.

Screen Shot 2013-01-02 at 9.58.52 AM

So I’d like to wrap this post up with a toast.  Hold up your smart waters, and let’s toast to us!  Best of luck to all those hoping that this year will be the year you get skinny, stronger, in a bikini, get a flat stomach, hope your thighs don’t rub together, drop that double chin, be fitter, be healthier, or whatever your goal might be.

Happy New Years!

Last photo of the 2012 year. hopefully i will have a smaller face and bigger hair next year!

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I’ll have all the items on the menu ending in the word “cake”

True story:

I was in Vegas with my friend Niki for Interbike.  After a long day of working, sometimes, you just gotta booze it up. I mean, we are in Vegas right?  In a heavy buzz, we went back to the hotel room where I proceeded to order all the items on the room service “late night” menu that ended in “cake”…. two pancakes, and one cheesecake.

Like a champ, i ate that shit in bed and passed the fuck out from all the sugar and carbs.

I woke up the next morning to Niki in a slight panic…

Niki:  Oh my god! Angie, are you okay?!
Me: (half awake) yeah, im fine.
Niki: There is blood on your pillow.  Did you have a bloody nose?
Me: No, that was the strawberry from my cheesecake

::::END SCENE::::

 

 

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who the hell invented the scale anyways?!

I’ve had this lingering neck/shoulder problem for some time now.  So going to Crossfit has been a real issue.  I can’t lift weight, and even doing things that don’t involve using my shoulder, like running, or sit ups, still make it hurt like hell.  I think any normal person would have been alarmed and gone to the doctors to have it looked at within a week or two in.  But that’s not how I roll.  My body is a temple, so naturally, I waited 10+ weeks.  I like my temples old and weathered.

Like any standard doctors visit, they take your blood pressure and make you hop on the scale.  Blood pressure?  Fine. Take it all damn day! I don’t care. But as soon as I got on that scale, my mind starts racing.  What things can I do in the next half a second that will alter the results of this weigh-in in my favor?  Like maybe if I exhale really deep. All that extra air in my lungs could be like 10lbs right?!  Or if I maybe, shimmy my weight to one leg and slightly lift the other one off the scale…. nah, that won’t work.  But before i know it, the flashing red numbers are starting at me.  The nurse is writing it down, and i look over my shoulder at her and I said,

“I can take my boots and jacket off”

To which she replied “Honey, that’s not going to help”

“Error. no, not the reading on the scale, your diet and just overall existence on this planet. now get off of me.”

 

On the bright side, I got my shoulder looked at.  My doctor moved me around, poked a bit, and then pushed down on my head which caused me to actually go “Ow! Fuck!” That concerned her.  She gave me some meds for inflammation, and then requested an x-ray to rule out any slipped discs causing nerve damage, and or bone fragments from something or other. Frankly, I don’t remember, I was still too hung up on the scale reading.  She also gave me some muscle relaxers for when I sleep, or when I am on long flights, or to slip into the cocktails of unsuspecting men.  Drink up Craig… goooood.  that’s gooooood.

 

Hospital gown fierceness. The X-ray lab had an amazing selection of gowns. You could get one in either 1973 baby blue, or 1981″floral”

 

So now, i guess i will just wait for my results of the X-ray, try and not eat my weight in sugar and gluten, and start hitting the town with my bottle of muscle relaxers!

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